-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
-Some people wear Superman pajama's....Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, to bad he never cries.
-Every year, Chuck Norris has to reregister every part of his body as a weapon of mass destruction.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
-One time Chuck Norris was pulled over for drunk driving. He blew a 777%, but he passed the sobriety test and was let off with a warning. So was the police officer.
-Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Feel free to comment with your favorite Chuck Norris-isms =]